The Art of Saying 'No': Setting Boundaries for a Stress-Free Christmas
The holiday season is often a magical time filled with joy, festivities, and togetherness. However, for busy mums, it can quickly become overwhelming as demands multiply and stress is increasing. In this blog post, we dive into the art of saying 'no'—a powerful tool for setting boundaries, preserving sanity, and ensuring a stress-free Christmas for you as a mum.
The Pressure of the Season
The Christmas season brings with it numerous of invitations, obligations, and expectations. Lots of things are fun events but it’s just too much at once and it becomes a chore more than a fun experience to catch up with friends and family. As a mum you might feel a lot of pressure during this season to make everything look picture perfect, be that super mum that bakes, decorates, attend events, all with a smile on your face. Whilst on your inside you might feel I just don’t want to do this at all.
There are lots of things surrounding us that might influence how we should be or think we should be from social media posts, TV commercials and our friends. It becomes a competition and comparison to do something that you might not even like or feel like doing just because everyone else is doing it. You might feel like a failure as a mum just because you can’t live up to the expectations and do all the things that all the other mums around are doing. There is a lot of pressure on mums to keep it all together for the family around the season and it’s just expected that this is what you do, and you like to do.
Apart from external pressures you might put a lot of pressure on yourself and set unrealistic goals that you just can’t meet. You want to be doing what everyone else are doing but you just can’t make it happen and feel too stressed just thinking about it.
The Importance of Setting Boundaries
Especially during the busy Christmas season it’s important to preserve your energy and think about your own wellbeing. Setting boundaries allows mums to conserve their precious energy for the activities that truly matter and preventing burnout. It’s impossible to keep going full on during the season, to please everyone and participate in everything, in the end you have forgotten yourself and what is important to you.
Maintaining mental wellbeing is crucial and so important not only for the silly season but all year around. Looking after your own mental health isn’t selfish but essential to function and feel good. It’s important to listen to your bodies signal and not ignoring the answers you get. If you are exhausted and drained this is a sign that you need to slow down and not overcommit. Establish boundaries for your mental health is an act of self-preservation that is the key to feeling good and enjoying the season in a happy state.
The Art of Saying 'No'
It can be very difficult for a mum to say no to a friend or family member, it’s often followed by guilt and a sense of rejecting someone. But saying ‘no’ is an assertion of personal limits and priorities which will empower you in the long run. In the busy time of leading up to Christmas there are numerous events in school at work, with friends and family and it’s impossible to attend every single event without burning yourself out. Instead, mums need to be more intentional about their commitments they accept and ensuring they align with their values and wellbeing. Once you accept an invitation you want to be present and enjoy your time not thinking how bad you feel about the events you turn down. As mums we often feel guilty and want to be the people pleaser but it’s time to prioritise ourselves and think about how I want to feel this Christmas and what can I do to make this happen. There are always going to be people around you that find it hard to accept your choices, but you have to stand firm to your true feelings and what eventually is going to make you feel good.
Navigating Social Expectations
As discussed earlier it can be hard to decline an invitation to social events or family gatherings without feeling you’re compromising the relationship or feeling guilty. But sometimes it’s essential to do to preserve your wellbeing and energy. You might have sleepless nights of how to politely decline an invitation without feeling bad, buy there are ways you can approach this and still feel ok about it.
Express gratitude - Begin your response by expressing genuine gratitude for the invitation. Acknowledge the effort and thoughtfulness of the person inviting you.
Be honest and brief - Be honest about your situation, but you don't need to go into extensive detail. Keep your explanation concise and to the point.
Suggest an Alternative: If appropriate, offer an alternative way to connect or celebrate together. This shows that you value the relationship and would like to make plans in the future.
Prioritising Self-Care
In the busy life of mums especially around the Christmas season the best gift you can give yourself is ‘self-care’. The fact that you say ‘no’ to events and invitation is a gift to yourself allowing time for essential self-care practices. The saying ‘quality over quantity’ emphasise the experiences over the quantity of commitments, and the importance of savouring the season for what it really should be and not a list of demands and chores that will make you feel totally exhausted by Christmas Day.
Overcoming Guilt
As busy mums, working full-time, looking after the kids, the family, we often have the constant feeling of guilt of not being or doing enough. Guilt can come from declining invitations, saying no to the events and social gatherings. Instead, you maybe decide to travel overseas for Christmas and not do the traditional celebration. You might feel that people might dislike you for choosing something different and not want to invite you anymore. You might feel that your friendship is ruined, and you are a bad mum for not attending all the school events.
Remember, you're doing the best you can, and that is enough. Letting go of guilt is a process, and it involves self-compassion, understanding, and a willingness to prioritize your well-being. Embrace the joy of the season and allow yourself the grace to navigate it in a way that suits your unique circumstances.
Celebrating Boundaries for a Stress-Free Christmas
Instead of feeling guilty of saying ‘no’, celebrate that you are empowered to take the step of looking after your own wellbeing and reclaiming the time and energy for what truly matters to you. Focus on the events that bring genuine joy and connection and what type of Christmas you like to have.
In the hustle and bustle of the holiday season, the art of saying 'no' becomes a valuable skill for preserving the magic of Christmas. By setting boundaries, prioritising self-care, and choosing intentional 'yeses,' busy mums can ensure a stress-free and meaningful holiday season for themselves and their loved ones.
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Wishing you a more mindful and enjoyable Christmas season!
